While raising my kids, I lived on a large corner lot for 23 years. We had many perennial flower and organic vegetable gardens in that time. So after being forced to downsize, gardening has taken on a different look.
For the past two years, I lived in a small space with no direct access to the outdoors. No gardens. No bird feeders. No air.
But since September 2016, I pay too much rent for a gorgeous townhome with a tiny deck. Awe air. #loveIt. #thankful #lucky
(Seriously, rents are outrageous. My mortgage for a fine place of my own would be much less than what I pay as rent.) I digress.
I’m taking full advantage of this newfound access to the outdoors. Flowers. Vegetables. Birds. Oh my.
I like to stay home. It took me awhile to figure this out because I like to go out too.
But if I were to compare myself to others, a homebody I am. Couple this fact, with the fact I am single, and where do I meet available men?
I’ve been divorced for 16 years and that is longer than I was married (12). I haven’t had a significant other in my life for the last three years, because frankly I wanted to heal, chill, and be by myself. I feel better. So technically, I guess I could start dating again, but creating a profile online, as I have in the past, doesn’t sound right anymore.
I know if I had someone to share events with, I would enjoy going out more. But, this break is also about doing things by myself, for myself to prove once and for all, I don’t need anyone else to make me happy. I’m not lobbing on to someone just so I’m not alone. So I’ve set a few summer resolutions: 1) go to events by myself; 2) eat out by myself (this one is HARD!); and 3) join groups to meet people to simply widen my circle.
I have a few upcoming plans to experience events by myself. I don’t mind walking into places alone and I’ve been going alone to certain things all my life. But going to a concert, is scary therefore, this is at the top of my list. (More on that later.)
This May I joined a biking club and have been going to rides about once a week. I can be better about joining in, but I have made progress. Yay me! (If so many of the rides didn’t start at O dark thirty, I’d have joined in more.) Before joining, riding by myself has been therapeutic, spontaneous, and adventurous, so I don’t want to rule out single rides altogether. Baby steps.
So how does a homebody find someone she likes? She sticks with liking herself.
Every three weeks I watch my daughter’s two children, ages 7 and 3. The older a helpful, smart girl and the younger the most energetic boy you have ever seen. I love seeing them and we have a special relationship that has developed because I can see them regularly. My daughter is a nurse so has to work every third weekend; and my son-in-law is a barber so weekends are his best money making days.
The kids come Friday right after I get home from work, and stay until late afternoon on Saturday. I am exhausted by the time they leave and my place is usually a pit.
[Here they are dancing to Ju Ju on the Beat.]
Exhausted mainly because I catch up on the work-week’s sleep on Saturday, so that gets delayed a day. My place is a pit, because I let them have as much fun as they can and I am not cleaning while they are here.
I have another two grandsons in town – three years old and almost a year – but I don’t get to babysit them regularly. It’s sad too, because they are carbon copies of my son. My son would love to have me in their life more, but I don’t think my daughter-in-law trusts me to watch them. I try to devote as much time to them as I can by having them over to eat at my place with Dad and/or Mom.
Wait. I’m not done yet. I have one more grandson who lives a couple states away and we get to see regularly and at length when he does come to his dad’s. [Content for another post.]
I have the tendency to center my life around my kids and grand kids so much, I don’t have time to do things I like to do. Can anyone relate? This seemed OK when I was a mom, but now that my days are numbered, I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t me just copping out. Hmmmm??? Thoughts?