Voice from the Middle

Single and a Homebody

I like to stay home. It took me awhile to figure this out because I like to go out too.

View from deck – at home.

But if I were to compare myself to others, a homebody I am.  Couple this fact, with the fact I am single, and where do I meet available men?

I don’t.

I’ve been divorced for 16 years and that is longer than I was married (12). I haven’t had a significant other in my life for the last three years, because frankly I wanted to heal, chill, and be by myself.  I feel better. So technically, I guess I could start dating again, but creating a profile online, as I have in the past, doesn’t sound right anymore.

I know if I had someone to share events with, I would enjoy going out more. But, this break is also about doing things by myself, for myself to prove once and for all, I don’t need anyone else to make me happy. I’m not lobbing on to someone just so I’m not alone.  So I’ve set a few summer resolutions: 1) go to events by myself; 2) eat out by myself (this one is HARD!); and 3) join groups to meet people to simply widen my circle.

I have a few upcoming plans to experience events by myself. I don’t mind walking into places alone and I’ve been going alone to certain things all my life.  But going to a concert, is scary therefore, this is at the top of my list. (More on that later.)

This May I joined a biking club and have been going to rides about once a week. I can be better about joining in, but I have made progress. Yay me! (If so many of the rides didn’t start at O dark thirty, I’d have joined in more.) Before joining, riding by myself has been therapeutic, spontaneous, and adventurous, so I don’t want to rule out single rides altogether.  Baby steps.

So how does a homebody find someone she likes? She sticks with liking herself.

– Namaste

By Debra Happe

Debra Happe is a writer and marketing professional based in Des Moines, Iowa. Debra does business, magazine, and freelance copywriting work. Specialties include science-based, environmental, and technological. Connect on LinkedIn for professional inquiries.

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